Going on youtube just to watch a quick music video than 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe.” You never know what tomorrow will bring.” Dear person blasting music from their car while they drive by wait! I like that song, come back!.” Time doesn’t heal anything it just teaches us how to live with the pain.” I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.” Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. I’ll be saving my resolution for 2019… I think I wanna be an asshole for 1 more year.”Īlso Read: Top 56 Good Morning Quotes and Wishes with Beautiful ImagesĪlso Read: Top 23 Of The Best Inspirational Quotes Ever Volleyball is just a more intense version of #dont let the balloon touch the floor”.” I’m still waiting patiently for the wisdom that supposedly comes with old age.
#Funny minion quotes professional
I’m not a smartass… I am a skilled, trained professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent sarcasm.” Be happy in front of people who don’t like you, #it kills them”.” Some don’t have food, others don’t have mothers.” Appreciate the food your mother cooks for you. They’re called ‘man hours’ because a woman would have that shit done in 20 minutes!.”
Yes I’m stubborn strong willed, and can be a pain in the ass! But I have a heart of gold!!.” I watch people and wonder how some of them found their way out of the birth canal!.” The best way to avoid disappointment is not to expect anything from anyone!.” Never piss off the person that cooks your dinner…” Always love your mother because you will never get another.” You may be gone from my sight but you are never gone from my heart.” Dear Sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. Consider the fact that maybe he closed that door because the new you were worth so much more.”Īlso Read: Top 50 Life Quotes That’ll Motivate You to Take That Next Step If God shuts a door, quit banging on it! Whatever was behind it, wasn’t meant for you. I need a time out! Send me to the beach and don’t let me come back till my attitude changes.” Decisions will be made using the EENIE-MEENIE-MINIE- Meo method and arguments will be settled by sticking out my tongue.” Can he swing from a web? No, he can’t he’s a pig, look ouuuuut, he is a spider-pig! And you read it… by singing!!!.” Spider-pig, spider-pig, does whatever a spider-pig does. Just once I would like to read a medication label that says: warning’ may cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles and increase energy.” Also Read: Top 300 Winnie The Pooh Quotes To Fill Your Heart With Joy